I'm back. I'm back on Xanga and I'm back from Malaysia. I was hanging out with my girlfriend every hour of the day for six whole weeks. It was nice and difficult and complicated and confusing. What do you want? I don't know, what do you want? I don't know. The scariest thing was to leave and go back home not knowing if we'll ever meet again. Ever felt that way? 

Sometimes I'm up all night looking for photos. Like these.


Angelina Jolie and Jenny Shimizu on the set of "Foxfire" (1996)


Milla Jovovich as Eloise in "The Million Dollar Hotel"


Milla Jovovich photographed by Peter Lindbergh


Clea DuVall


Kate Moennig photographed by Leisha Hailey?


Kate Moennig as Shane on "the L word"

....some of the most (beautiful,) misunderstood and undervalued women in hollywood.

I think I was 11, and I was at this Christian camp. The leaders arranged a show, and one of the guys imitated a cat walk, he was wearing a dress and lots of make-up. Everybody laughed when they saw his costume. But I thought he looked absolutely stunning, and I couldn't stop staring. I didn't think of him as attractive or even interesting before he showed up as a girl.



When I was teenager I went to London and I watched the gay parade with my gay friend.
I took so many pictures of drag queens, they were posing and enjoying themselves in front of my camera. One guy even tried to pull me into the parade. I wasn't fully aware of my sexuality at the time, so I stayed put. But they were the only ones I connected with from the parade, and I got so excited about my first meeting with real gender-benders, they were so sweet.

I also find female gender-benders interesting. I'm not talking about butch girls with lots of attitude and pants hanging down to their knees, but girls who have so many physical similarities (like body type, clothing, hair cut etc.) to boys that you mistake them as members of the opposite sex. Like Kate Moennig, Milla Jovovich (at times) and Jenny Shimizu. But I guess it's more natural for me to be attracted to boyish girls, since I am gay and apparently that's what lesbians like.



But why do I find drag queens and male gender-benders so interesting, I don't know. I'm gay, I like girls, not men. I'm not crazy about dresses, high heels, make-up, glitter and huge blond wigs. If a girl would wear the exact same costume as a drag queen, I'd probably think of her as a bimbo. But when "the guys" walk down the street, with their hairy, muscly legs in ultra-tight latex pants and matching pink tube tops, I certainly have to smile a little extra. :)

I'd like to do a photo reportage on transsexuals/transvestites/drag queens and other gender-benders.

what do you guys think of gender-benders? :)